Hurri's Views

Blame It On The Newquay

2009-07-13T18:59:00.003+01:00

Today's blame culture is a silly old thing.

This poor Paddy Higgins chap who jumped of a cliff in Newquay and died, his father is now saying it's Newquay's fault. Erm, how, exactly? When I was 16 I went on holiday with my college buddies to the Isle of Wight. There are cliffs there. None of us died.

The blame has to lie with the boy himself, it's no one else's fault. If a 16 year old wants to get drunk they will, be it in Newquay or anywhere. I used to manage it quite easily. I never jumped off a cliff. You can't blame the location for a person's stupidity.

And now this bloke wants people to boycott Newquay. Here is his Facebook group for the cause - admin approval only, I notice - can't handle the truth? Fair enough, Newquay may be a shithole (I've only been in winter, I hear the summer atmosphere is pleasant) but people do seem to want to visit, I'm firmly in the Don't Boycott Newquay camp, for which there are several Facebook groups - all open and instantly joinable. That says something, I think.

In other news, Michael Jackson. Tonight would have been the first night of the run at the o2, obviously it's not happening now due to the minor issue of him being a bit dead. Logic would suggest, since the concert isn't taking place, you don't turn up for it? And yet, hundreds of fans have gone to the arena anyway. Oh well, the bars will appreciate the custom, I'm sure.

And to combine both stories, blame culture and Jacko, LaToya Jackson seems to think he was murdered 'so people could take his money' - as I recall, didn't he owe about £400million? Doesn't add up. He wasn't murdered, he just died. People do that.

The Elvis of Our Generation

2009-06-25T23:37:00.005+01:00

Michael Jackson. Reasonable musician, complete nutcase, kiddy fiddler.

Last time I posted a View it was about Jade Goody's death, and here I am again with another celebrity death to write about. It's going to be like Elvis all those years ago, 'where were you when Jacko died?' Well, I was watching Big Brother. I found out via Facebook. My response? 'Oh.'

How many people had tickets for his tour? That's a lot of refunds. Let's be quite honest about this, he was NEVER going to do the tour in the first place. Last time he tried to perform on stage he practically had a breakdown. The tour was due to start in a couple of weeks, he hadn't hired any dancers, choreographers, the show crew and so forth. He hadn't been rehearsing very intensely. I think the reality of what he'd signed up to hit him and he simply couldn't take the pressure. He was a very unstable man, something like a huge tour (well, I say tour, it was all in the same place) takes a lot of work and a lot of planning, therefore a lot of stress, therefore heart attack.

Sure, he's someone's son, someone's dad, someone's friend and all that bollocks, and my condolences to these people, but the hundreds of fans who have already crowded the hospital, the millions of people worldwide who are going to cry themself to sleep tonight.. Sort it out. People die. Paedophiles die. It happens.

Goody Goody Gumdrops.

2009-03-23T20:24:00.002Z

So Jade Goody died.

And suddenly the thick racist slapper that everyone hated becomes the brave wonderful woman, for what? Milking the hell out of her own death? She commented on her own bloody obituary, for feck's sake! She says she's doing it to earn money for her kids? Maybe if she hadn't buggered everything up on Celeb Big Brother a couple of years ago she would have had plenty of money for them without having to cash in on her death. Why does she deserve all this cash when thousands of people are dying of cancer every day and their families get nothing except a parking ticket at the hospital... It annoys me.

Naturally the jokes have been coming out thick and fast, and good for the people who tell them. I'm not celebrating her death, and of course I feel for her family, losing someone to cancer must be horrible for anyone, but the people who tell the jokes are the people who understand what I mean. Her story was so overdone by the media that people just stopped caring and got sick of it. I know I did.

Jade wasn't famous for any good reason. She gave someone a blow job and got naked on tv, then what? People forget she thought 'East Angular' was abroad and that she got very upset when accused of 'playing tictacticals'. She was stupid. It's hardly a loss to the gene pool. I hope her kids aren't as stupid and can save the money and spend it wisely when the time is right, not live their lives in the public eye constantly in the shadow of their mother's death.

The most annoying part of all of this is that even though she's now dead she'll still be in the news for weeks to come, because stupid people who didn't know her, had nothing to do with her and would probably never have met her are going to her house and leaving flowers, and they're buying the papers with the pictures of her looking awful on the front. Her death continues to make other businesses money so they're all going to exploit it for as long as they can too.

I'm gonna bring this in to land now. I believe she should have died with dignity, like Wendy Richard just a few weeks ago. Instead, she chose to milk it for all it was worth. Maybe that money should have gone to cancer charities? Either way, she's gone now, get over it.

Barack Obama.

2009-01-20T14:42:00.002Z

So it's inauguration day, and change has come to America.

Now, I was supporting Obama throughout the election campaign and I genuinely believe he will make a very good president. What I don't like is quite how much fuss there is about the colour of his skin and the fact he has an African background. So he's black, does that make him any better or worse at the job? Of course it doesn't. And everyone's saying we now need to get a black prime minister in the UK as soon as possible. Why? As Michael Jackson said (in an attempt to justify his bizarre colour change) it doesn't matter if you're black or white. If Barack is good at the job, so be it. If we have a black prime minister who is great, great! If we have a white one who's just as good, great! The colour of a person's skin is absolutely irrelevant, an opinion of any world leader should be based on their performance, not their appearance.

Obama is going to be a good leader. And he would be just as good if he was white, red, green, purple, whatever. I don't really have much else to say without repeating myself, but people just need to forget the colour of his skin, and look past that to see him as a person and as a president.

Santa's Not Real

2008-12-15T21:33:00.004Z

It's shocking, I know. But I have teh pr00fz. I was in the Royals shopping centre today and their Christmas centrepiece is a real-life Santa, for kids to visit. Of course, nowadays you can't have an actual grotto so he's out in the open for all to see. I saw him having a drink. He lifted up his beard to do it. Last time I checked, real beardies couldn't do that, so he's a phony!

Anyway, it's Shopmas once again. I wrote a rant about my feelings on this time of year a couple of years ago here - do have a read. You see, I don't like Christmas. I no longer get in the Christmas spirit, I haven't done for years. This year I've got no decorations, I've not done presents, I've not done cards except for people who have specifically asked for them and even then I gave them this delightful home made card (feel free to print and use, if you wish) which pays tribute to the lovely Tesco corporation of doom.

Christmas is the time of year when people spend money they can't afford on things nobody wants for people they don't actually like. And why? Because they've had it programmed into them by society and the media. Every time I hear 'it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas' I'm about ready to shoot the tv. That bloody song plays twice every ad break, must have cost Asda a fortune and is so annoying that it's put me off shopping there!

But enough bah humbuggery, what's the best thing about Christmas? I honestly struggle to find one thing! But I suppose it's usually quite celebratory, nice parties and so on. That'll be it, then.

Hmm. Just seems to me that Christmas has got worse over the last few years, or maybe I've just grown up...

Doctors Are Idiots.

2008-12-09T18:56:00.003Z

Anyone who knows me will know the view I hold on GPs. Whilst I'm sure there are some General Practitioners who do a wonderful job, I only ever seem to encounter the terminally stupid. In most cases, it's a virus or an infection. You can go in with your bone hanging out of your leg, blood everywhere, and 'you've got a viral infection! these antibiotics will clear it up!'

Oh, but today. Our poor daughter, aged 7 months, has been having a bit of trouble with constipation. We wanted to get her checked out because she sees to be in quite a lot of pain when shes trying to go, so we thought best get her looked at and make sure everything is ok. We went to the doctor - now I can accept the fact he can't pronounce some basic English words properly, that is tolerable. But he clearly had no idea what he was talking about. Whilst sitting there we watched him Google 'constipation' and print out a site he found with some information about it, which he gave to us. If this wasn't laughable enough, he then said 'well, I could prescribe some KY Jelly that you can apply inside her back passage.' Er, WHAT? I do not wish to lubricate her arsehole, thank you ever so kindly. Surely fruit juice and the right food will naturally have the correct laxative effect. 'Oh, it's ok, I won't prescribe it, you've probably already got some.' Right. Fuck off. Suggesting such a stupid remedy is one thing but then making comments like that is just not on.

So that was a big fat waste of time, then. But there you have it, a doctor said it so it must be true. If your baby has constipation, get all paedo on their ass.

Don't think so, mate. Still, you're earning your hundred grand a year.

Still here. Honest.

2008-12-03T22:09:00.004Z

Still alive etc, had a baby, work lots, busy busy and so on.

Do you know what's annoying? Going to write a piece on here and getting writer's block. So I shall talk about scones. There is a study taking place here which I implore you to take part in, the aim of which is to find out if 'scone' rhymes with 'John or 'Joan'. I say the former. I looked up the etymology of scone, turns out it comes from schoon. Helpful.

Now, this is of course supposed to be about what's happening in the world, so let's take a look at the top stories...
The BBC is topped, unsurprisingly, by the recession. Having just bought a house, I think we're pretty much ok with all this.. But now, Mr Brown's come up with this concept to pay peoples' mortgages for them? I don't understand how it all works. I'll leave this one alone.

Some recent news that's more on my level is the 'theme park' in the New Forest that turned out to be utter shite. If you haven't seen the news on the Lapland park, go and look at the pictures, they're fantastic. The 'real log cabins' were garden sheds painted green, the huskies were chained up and looked distressed, the ice rink was broken, the 'bustling Christmas market' was a marquee with a table in! And to top it off, the nativity scene was a badly painted picture on a billboard, quite a distance away from the path! Brilliant. I truly feel for the people who paid to visit this place, they've been ripped off but with it making the news as it has, everyone will probably be refunded. But this just shows, if things are shit, the public will make a fuss. Take note, Thorpe - if reliability doesn't improve, the moaner brigade will catch on eventually. And this brings my theme park geek section of this post to a close.

There's nothing in the local news that I feel particularly close to, but it always seems to be the same old stories anyway, and I rant about the state of some people in this world and so on. Recently people have been dropping blocks of concrete off of bridges on to railways and roads... 'Just kids messing about' they cry, but these 'kids' are risking lives.. And the ones that did get caught and arrested were released on bail, there's a surprise. How about a more fitting punishment like stoning them to death? And I've gone off on one of those rants.

That's enough for now. I'll try to post more, really I will.

It's been a while...

2008-05-12T22:19:00.003+01:00

I'm still alive. Just had a busy winter, with work and having a baby and whatnot.

I'm going to have a moan, now, surprisingly enough. This time about bloody stupid 'gangsta' types.
Last night on the train my friends from work were witnesses to a horrific attack that took place, where a young couple and their dog were beaten to a pulp for no reason at all, and threatened themselves for alerting the driver.
In London this week we've seen the death of a young lad who was doing nothing more than buying a cake, and someone who just wants a fight decides to kill him. I didn't know Jimmy Mizen but it looks like he was just a 16 year old Catholic schoolboy - an altar boy at his church - out with his brother, certainly doesn't seem like the type to goad violence. His death is the 13th recorded as a result of an apparently unprovoked attack this year alone, and God knows how many more there have been that the media doesn't pick up on.
Moving away from London and closer to home. A man in Mendip Crescent in Westcliff was attacked on his own doorstep just for answering the door. I mean, what the fuck? The attackers hit him with an iron doorstop because they'd got the wrong house. This is just disgusting. The man now has to eat liquidised food for six weeks. Because he answered his door.

Some people are scum, and scum has always been around, but this is worse than I've ever known. Scum breeds scum, scum breeds scum, scum breeds scum, and you get these people who use violence because they're too stupid to do anything else. It's a sorry state. I don't know what the answer is but hopefully next year we'll get a government that does.

What a lovely teddy bear, let's call it Satan

2007-11-29T17:11:00.002Z

What the fuck is all this crap in Sudan about?

Some teacher names a teddy bear Muhammed, after a boy in her class, and it's a common name in that part of the world (and indeed here nowadays) and she's insulting Islam and inciting religious hatred? Well that's bloody ridiculous. She clearly wasn't doing anything of the sort - it's a teddy bear for fuck's sake, if someone named a teddy bear Jesus no one would give a shit...

So if this bear is an insult to Islam because of its name this must therefore mean the young lad who it was named after is as well? And every single other Muhammed of which I'm sure there are thousands. And she's likely to get off with a fine as the very best outcome, otherwise it's jail or forty lashes - that is not right. She is an innocent woman who had no intention of causing offence, and why are the Sudanese so pathetic that they're getting this wound up over a fucking teddy bear?!

Those of you who know me will know I hold my Christian beliefs close to my heart, I have a grasp of religion. But this is just absurd - and surely every other Muslim on the planet can see that? Here's my message to the people causing all the fuss in Sudan: Let her go, and grow up, you pathetic childish excuse for a government.

Swear words

2007-10-25T22:57:00.001+01:00

Why are they so frowned upon? Who decides they're swear words anyway? What's the difference between calling someone a cunt and calling them a cheesegrater, or a fishing net? Who said cunt would be the worst word evaaar?

A few questions that have been on my mind, there. Why does society dictate that we can't use certain words? There's nothing in the etymology of cunt to suggest it should be such a bad word. If people were saying, for example, Adolf or Saddam, these are words that have connotations with evil and therefore the 'badness' of them is explained, but cunt? No. Bush, maybe. Not cunt.
What's wrong with taking a shit? The word shit derives from the word shed, as in shedding, your body is parting with something, this being excrement, so shit is as valid a term as poo. In fact, the word poo comes from poop, which originally meant a soft breaking of wind, akin to a horn. So maybe poo is a worse word than shit?
All these words are just that. Words. The word cunt is just four letters put together. If I put them together any other way it would be meaningless. 'Oi, you tunc! You nuct! You c-nut!' It seems silly that this should be classed the worst word in the English language. I want to know who decided it was so. What makes these words bad? They are as much a part of English as 'the', 'if', 'and', 'but' etc.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to wash my mouth out.

Steeee-rike!

2007-10-16T15:53:00.000+01:00

Strikes.
What good are they? The most recent, of course, is Royal Mail, so the postmen can't be bothered to work and complain that they're having less work to do because machines have been invented, so they go on strike thus backing up the requirement for machines, and also leaving them more work to do when they go back, and then they moan they're not paid enough for doing all this extra work they've caused themselves. The strikes cost London alone over £300million.
What else has there been recently... Trains. The London Underground lot go on strike - even after an agreement has been reached between the union and TfL, they still strike. Meaning that hundreds of people can't get to work, including such important people.. Nurses for example. So people die because there was nobody to help them because the train lot were being greedy.
Firemen. They're on their well-over-£30k a year and I'm lucky if I scrape £10k, but I just get on with it, I don't go around complaining and putting peoples' lives at risk by doing so. At least the fire service still respond to emergency calls when they're on strike, sometimes. But if you've got a cat stuck up a tree tough shit.

'If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day and do it really half-assed' - Homer Simpson

All people do by striking is annoy everyone else, alienate themself from the public whose support they're trying to win, and as I said earlier, prove that machines do it better, in terms of sorting the mail. It always seems to be people in reasonably well paid jobs who go on strike, you'll never get the poor sods on less than £4 an hour in the retail sector striking because they're under minimum wage, they follow Homer's advice and just don't do a very good job, which leads on to the whole 'if you pay peanuts you get monkeys' rant but that's not for now.
I, personally, can never support strike action because it inconveniences too many people. It's just a waste of time.

Chips In Cones

2007-10-09T16:15:00.000+01:00

My last few posts have been somewhat morbid, they've all involved death in some way so I think it's time to be a bit nicer. That said, I'm still going to moan.

Chips in cones. Why?
What's the point? I don't understand. You get your chips and the vinegar coes to the bottom of the cone so your last chip is like a vinegar sponge, as well as it being stupidly hard to reach, chip fork or none.
Boxes are the way to go with chips. A nice level playing field where the chips can revel in an equal amount of salt and vinegar and you can condiment correctly.
I simply can't be doing with cones. I have to ask for a box when I go to the Three Shells, for example. But I shouldn't. They should come in a box by default. The world would be a better place.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've made myself hungry with all that talk of chips. Good day.

Keely Hartnett

2007-10-09T16:10:00.000+01:00

Echo story

Keely was 8 months pregnant. Why did this happen? Two lives lost, and for what? Some joyriding cunt to get a bit of a speed fix?
I didn't know Keely, but I've met her. She was a nice girl and this is a horrible thing to happen. I can't begin to imagine how her family and boyfriend must feel. My thoughts and deepest condolences are with them.
I hope the prick who did this goes down for a long long time. Death by dangerous driving, manslaugher, whatever. He should rot. And when he is finally released, banned from driving for the rest of his life.
RIP Keely. I know you will be missed.

McCanns

2007-10-09T16:09:00.000+01:00

Kate and Gerry McCann lost their little girl in Portugal a while ago, as I'm sure you're aware. You must be aware because they've never been off the news and frankly I'm sick of it.
So let's take a look. They leave their 3 year old to look after twin babies while they bugger off for a meal, and then when they get back Madeleine is missing. 'They've taken her!' shouts Mrs McCann. Have 'they' now? Who are 'they'? So the McCanns go and blitz the media with Find Maddie crap. Strange, though, how nobody saw anyone take her. Surely she'd have made some noise. Strange, too, how DNA was found in the boot of their car.
My theory? I think they killed her. The most logical suggestion is that they gave the children drugs to keep them asleep while they went out, this is possible with their NHS connections. They OD'd Maddie and she died and they tried to cover it up. 'No!' they cry, 'The Portugese police want you to think that! They're framing us!' Er, excuse me? No, they're not framing you, why would they want to do that? If you didn't want to be accused of murdering your daughter you shouldn't have murdered your daughter.
And what's all this about sightings of Maddie in various locations, from Belgium to Morocco? These children that clearly aren't her and look nothing like her shouldn't be dragged into anything. Face it, she's dead. And her parents are responsible.

The sooner this comes to an end and Team McCann are behind bars the better. RIP Maddie.

Diana Inquest (4/10/07)

2007-10-09T16:06:00.000+01:00

Well now. Ten years after an incident occurs we get an inquest. Nice to see the people responsible work quickly.
So let's take a look. Diana died in a car crash in 1997, with her boyfriend Dodi. Dodi's dad reckons the royal family got MI6 to kill them because Di was pregnant.
Right. Her Maj thought 'fuck, my son's ex is having a baby, another name for the Christmas card list, better put a stop to that.' Bollocks. And the driver was apparently in on it - so, what, he killed himself for the sake of it?
The driver was drunk and they were trying to escape the paparazzi. Why were they trying to escape so fast? What did they have to hide? I don't think it was a pregnancy. They were pissed. That's what it was. A worldwide icon for charity work looking the worse for wear after a couple cristals too many.

This inquest, frankly, is pointless. There's not going to be any conclusive evidence one way or another, because if there was we'd have seen it then, in 1997, as soon as possible after the crash.
The outcome will be this. The jury won't reach a unanimous decision, Al-Fayed will still blame the royals, nobody will know if she was preggers or not, nobody will care. She's dead. Let her rest in peace.